1
00:00:14,854 --> 00:00:16,189
Can I fit there?

2
00:00:16,356 --> 00:00:17,690
Honey, our house could fit there.

3
00:00:17,857 --> 00:00:20,777
All right, I can do
without the... guy.

4
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:35,208
Okay. Getting a little nauseous.

5
00:00:35,375 --> 00:00:37,419
All right, be quiet.

6
00:00:45,176 --> 00:00:47,387
I'm gonna need a bucket.

7
00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:50,223
- You want me to do it?
- No, I am doing this.

8
00:00:50,432 --> 00:00:51,516
Okay.

9
00:00:59,607 --> 00:01:03,278
- You gotta cut the wheel. You...
- I'm cutting it.

10
00:01:10,535 --> 00:01:14,289
- There.
- Okay, great job. Let's go.

11
00:01:15,832 --> 00:01:18,042
I'll wait here.

12
00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:48,079
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com

13
00:01:58,105 --> 00:01:59,981
Isn't Carrie back
from the supermarket yet?

14
00:02:00,148 --> 00:02:01,483
Yes, but unfortunately,

15
00:02:01,650 --> 00:02:03,944
both she and her groceries
are invisible.

16
00:02:06,154 --> 00:02:09,157
I'm sorry, but you make it so easy.

17
00:02:09,408 --> 00:02:11,535
I'm starving.

18
00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,371
What do you got there?

19
00:02:14,538 --> 00:02:17,541
- Bologna sandwich.
- Bologna? We have bologna?

20
00:02:17,791 --> 00:02:21,211
We had bologna.
Now, I'll thank you to stop hovering.

21
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:22,838
Come on, give me half.

22
00:02:23,046 --> 00:02:25,757
Like you gave me half
of your Devil Dog yesterday?

23
00:02:27,509 --> 00:02:29,386
Okay, that was wrong.

24
00:02:29,594 --> 00:02:31,304
Well, too bad.

25
00:02:31,513 --> 00:02:33,223
Oh, this is gonna be heaven.

26
00:02:33,390 --> 00:02:36,017
All right,
I don't need your stinking bologna.

27
00:02:38,019 --> 00:02:39,479
- Hey.
- Where you been?

28
00:02:39,688 --> 00:02:41,328
I stopped at the bank
to pay the mortgage.

29
00:02:41,523 --> 00:02:43,984
The bank? You know my rule.
Supermarket, home. Okay?

30
00:02:44,192 --> 00:02:45,902
Save your fun stuff
for your own time.

31
00:02:46,486 --> 00:02:49,823
You know me,
can't pass up a nice, long line.

32
00:02:50,282 --> 00:02:52,409
What is this?
What am I looking at here?

33
00:02:52,617 --> 00:02:55,495
I'm looking at pantiliners and Raid.
I need lunch.

34
00:02:55,662 --> 00:02:56,663
Relax, would you?

35
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,082
- There's eight more bags in the car.
- Oh, all right.

36
00:02:59,249 --> 00:03:01,543
- Wait, wait, wait. You can't go yet.
- Why not?

37
00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:03,503
The Sackskys.
They're out in their yard,

38
00:03:03,712 --> 00:03:06,715
- just lurking.
- So what?

39
00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:09,259
So I don't wanna get roped into
having dinner with them.

40
00:03:09,426 --> 00:03:11,303
Ever since
they crashed our barbecue,

41
00:03:11,511 --> 00:03:13,805
they've been trying to invite us over
to reciprocate.

42
00:03:14,014 --> 00:03:15,807
- Just give it ten minutes.
- Ten minutes?

43
00:03:16,016 --> 00:03:19,519
Carrie, I'm starving here.
You know what I had for breakfast?

44
00:03:19,728 --> 00:03:23,648
Actually, I had a good breakfast,
but that was a long time ago.

45
00:03:23,815 --> 00:03:25,192
Doug, just wait, okay?

46
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,778
I've dodged them this long.
I don't need you to screw it up.

47
00:03:27,986 --> 00:03:29,446
Will you relax? I won't screw it up.

48
00:03:29,654 --> 00:03:31,534
I'll go out there,
throw them a "How you doing?"

49
00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,283
and... I'm in the garage.

50
00:03:33,450 --> 00:03:35,077
What are you gonna say
on your way back?

51
00:03:35,285 --> 00:03:37,662
That's when I go to a
"Hey, gotta stop meeting like this."

52
00:03:37,829 --> 00:03:41,166
And by the time they stop laughing,
I'm halfway through a grilled cheese.

53
00:03:42,584 --> 00:03:43,835
- Fine, go.
- Okay.

54
00:03:46,588 --> 00:03:50,884
- Hey, Tim, how you doing there?
- Hey, there's the guy.

55
00:03:54,763 --> 00:03:58,517
- Oh, gotta stop meeting like this.
- I'm sorry, what?

56
00:03:59,976 --> 00:04:01,478
We gotta stop meeting like this.

57
00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:05,524
You know, because
we just saw each other a second ago.

58
00:04:05,732 --> 00:04:09,069
Hey, listen, while I have you, Doug,
what say we set up a dinner, huh?

59
00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:13,907
And then... And then...

60
00:04:14,116 --> 00:04:15,596
- This was so funny.
- Dottie, let me.

61
00:04:15,784 --> 00:04:16,952
And then he runs out.

62
00:04:17,119 --> 00:04:18,995
Remember, this guy
is 4 and a half feet tall.

63
00:04:19,162 --> 00:04:22,249
So now, he's soaking wet. He's
running through the train, yelling:

64
00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:24,584
"Help me! Help me!"

65
00:04:26,753 --> 00:04:27,921
Do you remember that?

66
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:31,466
I hate you for this.

67
00:04:33,802 --> 00:04:36,680
So how was everything? Delish?

68
00:04:36,888 --> 00:04:38,515
- It was great.
- Absolutely. Very tasty.

69
00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:42,227
Really? Good. I was a little concerned
about the colour of the chicken.

70
00:04:45,397 --> 00:04:46,732
It was fine, Dottie.

71
00:04:46,898 --> 00:04:50,736
Listen, we're just sorry that it took
us so long to have you guys over.

72
00:04:50,944 --> 00:04:52,362
Don't give it another thought.

73
00:04:52,571 --> 00:04:54,698
It's just that Dorothy and I
have been going through

74
00:04:54,865 --> 00:04:57,701
kind of a rough stretch
in our marriage lately.

75
00:04:57,909 --> 00:05:00,662
- Hey, been there.
- Yeah?

76
00:05:01,747 --> 00:05:05,000
But we've come out of it
better than ever.

77
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:07,127
Thanks to this one.

78
00:05:07,294 --> 00:05:09,671
You're so sweet.

79
00:05:25,395 --> 00:05:27,189
Are we embarrassing you guys?

80
00:05:27,397 --> 00:05:31,151
- No, no, no.
- Hey, dinner and a show.

81
00:05:33,779 --> 00:05:37,115
- Anyway, this has been great.
- Yes. Thank you very much.

82
00:05:37,282 --> 00:05:38,617
- Yes. Thanks again.
- Yeah.

83
00:05:38,825 --> 00:05:41,536
You can't go.
We haven't even had dessert yet.

84
00:05:42,162 --> 00:05:43,538
Tim, go put the pie in the oven.

85
00:05:43,705 --> 00:05:45,425
Doug, why don't you help me
with the dishes?

86
00:05:45,624 --> 00:05:48,502
The girls can stay out here
and catch up on their:

87
00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:53,715
Yeah, yeah, sure, Tim.
Alrighty, gonna help with the dishes.

88
00:05:55,258 --> 00:05:59,513
So when are we going shopping?

89
00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:07,229
Okay, that baby should be
all warmed up in about 20 minutes.

90
00:06:09,648 --> 00:06:12,317
Hey, microwave's faster.

91
00:06:13,026 --> 00:06:16,029
No. Hey, Doug,
can I ask you a question?

92
00:06:16,238 --> 00:06:19,991
- Yeah, sure, sure.
- Do you enjoy a nice glass of water?

93
00:06:23,370 --> 00:06:26,623
Yeah, when I can't get a beer
or any other liquid.

94
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:31,712
Try this.

95
00:06:32,212 --> 00:06:33,922
All right.

96
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,427
Well?

97
00:06:38,677 --> 00:06:41,138
It's good.

98
00:06:42,514 --> 00:06:44,141
So you like it.

99
00:06:44,349 --> 00:06:48,895
Yeah. You know,
we have this at our place too, Tim.

100
00:06:49,438 --> 00:06:51,565
No. No, see,
that's where you're wrong, my friend.

101
00:06:51,732 --> 00:06:55,652
See, your water doesn't go through
the Sparkle Tap.

102
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,408
Got yourself a little
water filter, huh?

103
00:06:58,434 --> 00:06:59,890
I don't just got one.

104
00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:01,867
I sell them.

105
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,578
It's the cutest little outlet store
you've ever seen,

106
00:07:04,745 --> 00:07:07,205
and it's only
a two-hour drive upstate.

107
00:07:08,957 --> 00:07:13,086
And they have the worst security.

108
00:07:16,298 --> 00:07:19,134
Then I license ten people
to sell the Sparkle Tap,

109
00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:21,386
then they each license
ten more people,

110
00:07:21,595 --> 00:07:23,638
and so on, and so on.

111
00:07:23,847 --> 00:07:25,827
I get a cut from the
sale of each filter

112
00:07:25,853 --> 00:07:27,542
and from the sale
of each licence.

113
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:30,020
- Incredible, huh?
- It's incredible.

114
00:07:30,187 --> 00:07:32,397
- Incredible.
- Yeah.

115
00:07:32,606 --> 00:07:34,983
But you know, Doug,
last year when I was fired,

116
00:07:35,192 --> 00:07:37,652
we came very close
to losing this house.

117
00:07:37,819 --> 00:07:41,239
I mean, I owed a lot of money
to a lot of scary people.

118
00:07:42,741 --> 00:07:46,244
But now, thanks to Sparkle Tap,
I've got a new job.

119
00:07:46,453 --> 00:07:48,330
Walking to the mailbox
in my pyjamas

120
00:07:48,497 --> 00:07:51,917
and taking out cheques from people
I don't even know.

121
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,044
Wow, that's great, man.

122
00:07:54,419 --> 00:07:55,796
You really like the idea?

123
00:07:56,004 --> 00:07:58,215
Yeah. You obviously got a great mind
for business.

124
00:07:59,508 --> 00:08:01,385
Thank you.

125
00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:04,638
So you wanna start with 50
or a hundred filters?

126
00:08:05,138 --> 00:08:08,558
What? Oh, no, no, I didn't
mean that I wanted to. I was just...

127
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,127
Just what? Just
blowing smoke?

128
00:08:11,153 --> 00:08:13,230
No, no, no. When I...
I didn't know...

129
00:08:13,271 --> 00:08:15,512
Doug, if you don't think it's
a good idea, just say that.

130
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,767
- Don't humour me.
- I'm not humouring you.

131
00:08:17,776 --> 00:08:21,279
See, now it all makes sense
why you guys have been avoiding us.

132
00:08:21,446 --> 00:08:23,094
We're just the idiots
next door, right?

133
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,725
No, come on, Tim,
that's not true.

134
00:08:24,908 --> 00:08:28,662
We love seeing you guys. And this
filter thing? Hell of an idea.

135
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,666
Okay. Sorry.

136
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,876
So 50 or a hundred?

137
00:08:36,044 --> 00:08:38,004
I think 50.

138
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,344
God, that was brutal.

139
00:08:44,511 --> 00:08:47,931
Capital B, capital R, "utal."

140
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:50,434
I didn't think it was that bad.

141
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,310
Yeah, that's because
you weren't invited

142
00:08:52,477 --> 00:08:55,397
on an upstate crime spree.

143
00:08:57,524 --> 00:09:00,777
I gotta say, I'm actually kind of glad
we went over there tonight.

144
00:09:00,986 --> 00:09:02,362
- Why?
- I don't know,

145
00:09:02,571 --> 00:09:04,948
it gave me a chance
to get to know Tim a little better.

146
00:09:05,115 --> 00:09:07,659
Did you know he didn't learn to swim
till he was 23?

147
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:12,789
Really? Remind me
to send you a picture of me yawning.

148
00:09:13,999 --> 00:09:17,169
I'm just saying, Carrie,
Tim's an interesting guy.

149
00:09:17,377 --> 00:09:19,337
You know, he's a real go-getter.

150
00:09:19,504 --> 00:09:21,882
Do you know
he runs a business out of his house?

151
00:09:22,049 --> 00:09:25,385
If we hadn't gone over there tonight,
I might not have...

152
00:09:25,594 --> 00:09:27,804
Might not have what?

153
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:32,225
I might not have had
the very good opportunity to...

154
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,979
Opportunity to what?

155
00:09:36,146 --> 00:09:40,776
To give him a thousand-dollar cheque
to become a licensed distributor.

156
00:09:40,984 --> 00:09:42,861
You gave him a thousand dollars?

157
00:09:43,028 --> 00:09:44,363
To distribute what?

158
00:09:44,529 --> 00:09:49,493
Okay, first of all, lose the attitude.
Second of all, water filters.

159
00:09:50,577 --> 00:09:52,120
This is not happening.

160
00:09:52,746 --> 00:09:55,207
Oh, yes, it is.

161
00:09:55,374 --> 00:09:58,543
Doug, are you insane?
You're gonna sell water filters?

162
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:02,798
Yes. And the licences to sell them.
That's where the real money is.

163
00:10:03,006 --> 00:10:05,634
No, the real money
is now in Tim's bank account.

164
00:10:07,427 --> 00:10:11,014
Oh, my God. Now I know why
they separated us after dinner.

165
00:10:11,181 --> 00:10:12,808
To pounce on the weak one.

166
00:10:17,813 --> 00:10:20,732
Yeah, I get it. Yeah. You're the
genius and I'm the moron. Right?

167
00:10:20,899 --> 00:10:24,945
Okay, I'll buy one.
Tell me about the rabbits.

168
00:10:27,072 --> 00:10:30,033
I will love him and I will pet him
and I will take good care of him.

169
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,370
Because you are my friend, George.
He's my friend.

170
00:10:33,578 --> 00:10:36,123
Let me tell you, I know how to spot
a good thing when I see one.

171
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,874
I happen to be very sawy.

172
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:41,503
- Sawy?
- Sawy. Yes, I know that word.

173
00:10:42,295 --> 00:10:44,172
Okay, Mr. Sawy,

174
00:10:44,381 --> 00:10:47,467
why don't you tell me how you're
gonna get rich selling water filters?

175
00:10:47,676 --> 00:10:49,239
Okay, try and stay
with me this time.

176
00:10:49,265 --> 00:10:51,381
It's not the filters,
it's the licences.

177
00:10:52,723 --> 00:10:55,183
Okay, the licences.
You see this here?

178
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:56,977
"Official licensee."

179
00:10:57,144 --> 00:10:59,688
This is all official stuff.
Take a look at it.

180
00:10:59,896 --> 00:11:02,524
Yeah. Feel a little silly now,
don't you?

181
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:09,906
Get your pants on.
We're gonna get your money back.

182
00:11:10,157 --> 00:11:11,950
No, my pants are off
and they're staying off.

183
00:11:12,159 --> 00:11:14,995
Doug, he duped you
into a stupid marketing scheme.

184
00:11:15,162 --> 00:11:16,621
Okay, it is not a scheme.

185
00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:19,041
It's a multilevel marketing system,
okay? And it works.

186
00:11:19,249 --> 00:11:21,918
Tim's making so much money now
he doesn't even go to work anymore.

187
00:11:22,085 --> 00:11:24,463
He spends two to three days at a time
in his pyjamas.

188
00:11:24,671 --> 00:11:26,381
Oh, yeah?
You know who else does that?

189
00:11:26,590 --> 00:11:29,301
The old and the mentally ill.

190
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:33,096
Well, tell that club
they're about to get a new member.

191
00:11:43,199 --> 00:11:46,536
Okay. Now try this one.

192
00:11:55,295 --> 00:11:57,005
Well?

193
00:11:57,255 --> 00:11:58,798
They taste the same.

194
00:11:59,007 --> 00:12:01,676
Come on, Carrie, they can't
taste the same. This one's tap water.

195
00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:02,844
It's full of...

196
00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:04,929
Where the hell is that thing?

197
00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:08,808
It's full of "ammonia,
latex emulsions, lead."

198
00:12:08,975 --> 00:12:12,645
And look at this.
"Benzene." Benzene, Carrie.

199
00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:14,898
You know, it's not too late
to get your money back.

200
00:12:15,065 --> 00:12:17,275
I don't want to, okay?
I can make some real money here.

201
00:12:17,442 --> 00:12:18,443
Did you realise

202
00:12:18,651 --> 00:12:22,572
that people spend an average
of $600 a year on bottled water?

203
00:12:22,781 --> 00:12:25,784
Well, that's 400 less than
you've spent, and it's only May.

204
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:32,040
You know what?
I can't even listen to you.

205
00:12:32,248 --> 00:12:35,418
That's clearly the benzene talking.

206
00:12:37,462 --> 00:12:39,255
- Morning, all.
- Morning, Dad.

207
00:12:39,506 --> 00:12:43,426
Hey, Arthur. Can I interest you
in a freshly filtered glass of water?

208
00:12:43,635 --> 00:12:45,428
Water, huh?

209
00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:47,315
All right.
What the hell, I'll have a glass.

210
00:12:47,514 --> 00:12:48,681
All right.

211
00:12:48,848 --> 00:12:52,185
Here you go. One delicious
glass of water coming up.

212
00:12:57,482 --> 00:13:00,318
Well, spank me hard
and call me Rhonda.

213
00:13:01,528 --> 00:13:04,447
This is one fine glass of H2O.

214
00:13:04,698 --> 00:13:06,157
You think so?

215
00:13:07,409 --> 00:13:08,660
How about that?

216
00:13:08,827 --> 00:13:11,551
So, what is this contraption

217
00:13:11,577 --> 00:13:14,232
that turns a glass of water
into nature's nectar?

218
00:13:14,374 --> 00:13:17,460
It's the Sparkle Tap water filter.
I'm selling them now.

219
00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:20,672
Beautiful. If I had a sink,
I'd buy one for myself.

220
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,382
You know what?
I have a better idea.

221
00:13:22,549 --> 00:13:24,676
You know people who do have sinks,
don't you?

222
00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:26,928
I may or may not.
What's your angle?

223
00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:30,765
I am now authorized
to sell you a licence

224
00:13:30,932 --> 00:13:34,185
that allows you to sell these babies
to whoever you want.

225
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:39,107
This is me
leaning forward with interest.

226
00:13:39,357 --> 00:13:42,777
All right, well, lean back
with interest or have a mint.

227
00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:47,991
So come on, now, son.
What's the deal with this?

228
00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:49,200
Give me the skinny.

229
00:13:49,451 --> 00:13:51,576
It's simple. Okay,
I sell you the filters,

230
00:13:51,602 --> 00:13:53,246
plus the licences to
sell the filters.

231
00:13:53,288 --> 00:13:56,041
Then you find ten people
and sell them the licences.

232
00:13:56,207 --> 00:13:58,877
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Do you mind?

233
00:13:59,085 --> 00:14:00,879
We're in the middle
of an important meeting.

234
00:14:01,087 --> 00:14:04,090
Yes, I do. You are not
dragging my father into this.

235
00:14:04,299 --> 00:14:06,259
I'm not dragging him in.
He knows what he's doing.

236
00:14:06,468 --> 00:14:09,262
He happens to be very sawy
as well.

237
00:14:12,182 --> 00:14:15,268
Okay, now I'm convinced
you don't know what that word means.

238
00:14:15,477 --> 00:14:17,353
Excuse me, darling,
the last time I checked,

239
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,523
I was over 21 and capable
of making my own decisions.

240
00:14:20,899 --> 00:14:23,359
Now, this is a fine product,
Douglas is a great guy,

241
00:14:23,526 --> 00:14:24,694
and I'm going in on this.

242
00:14:24,861 --> 00:14:26,988
There we go.

243
00:14:29,074 --> 00:14:31,451
Fine, fine, do what you want.

244
00:14:36,581 --> 00:14:38,875
Okay, Douglas, what's the buy-in?

245
00:14:39,084 --> 00:14:40,460
It's a thousand dollars.

246
00:14:41,378 --> 00:14:42,921
Very reasonable.

247
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:45,215
Unfortunately,
I'm a little cash-strapped.

248
00:14:45,382 --> 00:14:47,092
Do you accept artwork?

249
00:14:50,178 --> 00:14:51,936
So you're telling me
there are actually

250
00:14:51,962 --> 00:14:53,456
pesticides in our
drinking water?

251
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,891
Frightening, but true.

252
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,394
But with this baby's
nanofiltration system,

253
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,521
99 percent are filtered out.

254
00:14:59,687 --> 00:15:03,858
Bye-bye, nasty pesticides.
Hello, tastier soups.

255
00:15:04,025 --> 00:15:06,403
So in other words,
I can make money...

256
00:15:06,653 --> 00:15:08,530
And do something great
for your family's health

257
00:15:08,697 --> 00:15:10,073
for only a thousand bucks.

258
00:15:10,281 --> 00:15:12,409
I like what I'm hearing.
Hey, I'm in. Take a cheque?

259
00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:13,785
Absolutely.

260
00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:17,330
Okay, so Deac's buying a licence.
I only got nine left.

261
00:15:17,539 --> 00:15:19,249
Who's it gonna be? Peacock?

262
00:15:19,499 --> 00:15:22,502
Hey, Eddie. What do you say, huh?
Come on, man.

263
00:15:22,752 --> 00:15:25,505
Hey, let's do it. You know what?
Take your time. Think it over.

264
00:15:25,714 --> 00:15:27,757
Talk to the missis.

265
00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,720
- Sorry, man.
- That's cool, man. They'll be back.

266
00:15:31,928 --> 00:15:33,513
Oh, yeah.

267
00:15:33,722 --> 00:15:36,266
- Yeah. Hey, give me my cheque.
- Right. Sorry.

268
00:15:37,642 --> 00:15:39,102
Not interested.

269
00:15:39,352 --> 00:15:43,022
I'm not asking you to buy anything.
Just try the water.

270
00:15:43,231 --> 00:15:44,858
I'm not interested.

271
00:15:45,108 --> 00:15:46,818
Just try it. It's delicious.

272
00:15:46,985 --> 00:15:48,611
I don't want it.

273
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:51,906
How can you not want
a glass of water? Drink it.

274
00:15:52,115 --> 00:15:54,492
No, I won't.

275
00:15:54,659 --> 00:15:56,703
And you can't make me.

276
00:15:57,537 --> 00:16:01,124
You're gonna have to take a pill
eventually. I'll wait you out.

277
00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:13,636
- All right, I'll take a filter.
- What the hell, I'll take one too.

278
00:16:13,887 --> 00:16:15,597
I'm not asking you
to just buy a filter.

279
00:16:15,805 --> 00:16:19,726
I'm asking you
to buy into a way of life.

280
00:16:19,976 --> 00:16:22,187
I don't even want the filter.

281
00:16:22,437 --> 00:16:26,357
Well, that you're committed to.
You said yes. That's an oral contract.

282
00:16:26,608 --> 00:16:27,776
So, what do you want from me?

283
00:16:28,026 --> 00:16:32,489
I want you to be a licensed
Sparkle Tap salesman and get rich.

284
00:16:32,739 --> 00:16:35,200
You sure I'm gonna get rich?

285
00:16:36,284 --> 00:16:38,078
Yes, I am.

286
00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:40,580
Okay, I guess I'm in.

287
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,540
Don't be an idiot.
It's a pyramid scheme.

288
00:16:42,749 --> 00:16:45,585
- It is?
- It is not a pyramid scheme.

289
00:16:45,794 --> 00:16:47,253
And "shutee."

290
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:49,047
How is it not a pyramid scheme?

291
00:16:49,255 --> 00:16:51,716
You have a product
of little or no value,

292
00:16:51,883 --> 00:16:53,676
the only actual profit comes

293
00:16:53,885 --> 00:16:55,595
from constantly recruiting
new members

294
00:16:55,804 --> 00:16:59,057
which you inevitably run out of,
and the whole thing collapses.

295
00:17:00,225 --> 00:17:03,478
Don't make me Cactus Jack
your aSS.

296
00:17:20,912 --> 00:17:22,872
Hey, Doug, thanks again
for inviting me over.

297
00:17:23,081 --> 00:17:26,251
Haven't heard from you
in a hell of a long time there, guy.

298
00:17:26,459 --> 00:17:28,420
Yeah, we should call each other more,
you know?

299
00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:32,298
Well, I called you.
I left you a bunch of messages.

300
00:17:32,757 --> 00:17:34,384
Have you?

301
00:17:35,260 --> 00:17:37,220
Carrie is heavy with that
delete finger, you know?

302
00:17:37,429 --> 00:17:40,432
"Not for me. Not for me."

303
00:17:40,682 --> 00:17:42,976
We've had some real blowouts
about that.

304
00:17:43,184 --> 00:17:45,478
No problem.
The main thing is we're here now.

305
00:17:45,687 --> 00:17:49,441
Absolutely, man.
This is what it's all about: family.

306
00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:52,193
Hey, cousin.

307
00:17:52,944 --> 00:17:54,571
Hey.

308
00:17:54,779 --> 00:17:59,159
All right, we got our snacks,
got our movie, we got it all.

309
00:17:59,325 --> 00:18:02,120
Oh, wait a second. Beverages.

310
00:18:02,954 --> 00:18:05,248
How do you feel about water?

311
00:18:05,498 --> 00:18:07,042
It's about family, huh?

312
00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:09,149
Yeah, as long as that family's
buying a water filter!

313
00:18:09,174 --> 00:18:11,930
- It filters out the impurities!
- I don't care!

314
00:18:11,955 --> 00:18:12,971
I don't like being used!

315
00:18:12,972 --> 00:18:15,012
Oh, what, are you gonna make
pizzas your whole life?

316
00:18:15,037 --> 00:18:17,247
It's better than paying $1000
for a water filter.

317
00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:21,097
- No, no, that was for the licences!
- Whatever!

318
00:18:23,391 --> 00:18:28,104
- So how's the water business?
- Good. And getting better.

319
00:18:32,984 --> 00:18:35,528
Cappiello, come on,
you've had time to think.

320
00:18:35,737 --> 00:18:37,614
Hey, Voss. Voss, come on, man.
What do you say?

321
00:18:37,781 --> 00:18:39,657
I bought cookies from your kid.

322
00:18:39,866 --> 00:18:41,993
Come on, man. Hey, Betcher.

323
00:18:42,202 --> 00:18:44,079
You gave me a "maybe."
What's up with that?

324
00:18:44,245 --> 00:18:45,872
Come on, you gave me a "maybe."

325
00:18:46,664 --> 00:18:48,875
Fine.
Now I know why your wife left you.

326
00:18:49,042 --> 00:18:51,086
Because you don't know a good thing
when you see it.

327
00:18:51,294 --> 00:18:52,754
Yeah, that's right, I said it.

328
00:18:52,921 --> 00:18:55,924
Yeah, you got a problem? You bring it.
Oh, my God.

329
00:18:56,341 --> 00:18:57,509
Here's the deal.

330
00:18:57,675 --> 00:18:59,969
You become part
of the Sparkle Tap team,

331
00:19:00,178 --> 00:19:03,098
and I will convert to your religion.

332
00:19:10,397 --> 00:19:13,650
- So you didn't sell one, huh?
- Nope.

333
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,361
In fact,
two of my samples were stolen.

334
00:19:16,528 --> 00:19:17,862
Put that on my tab.

335
00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:20,198
Sure, what's the difference?

336
00:19:20,407 --> 00:19:21,658
Oh, boy.

337
00:19:21,866 --> 00:19:24,953
When I was a younger man, Douglas,
I could really close the deal.

338
00:19:25,161 --> 00:19:30,291
They'd come in, I'd turn on the charm
and I'd make the sale every time.

339
00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:33,253
- Yeah, what did you sell?
- Gasoline.

340
00:19:36,047 --> 00:19:38,091
I feel like such an idiot.

341
00:19:38,258 --> 00:19:40,635
I swear, I wish there was a pill
I could take, go to sleep,

342
00:19:40,802 --> 00:19:43,596
wake up two days from now
like none of this ever happened.

343
00:19:43,805 --> 00:19:45,140
Yeah.

344
00:19:45,306 --> 00:19:49,060
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna take that pill.

345
00:19:49,978 --> 00:19:51,938
See you Thursday.

346
00:19:55,275 --> 00:19:56,901
Hey.

347
00:19:57,068 --> 00:19:58,153
How's business?

348
00:19:58,403 --> 00:20:00,447
Well, let's see.
Your father got two filters stolen,

349
00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:03,742
I crushed one in my bare hands,
and the rest are in the garage.

350
00:20:03,950 --> 00:20:05,493
It's over.

351
00:20:05,702 --> 00:20:09,706
Look, you took a shot
and it didn't work out.

352
00:20:09,873 --> 00:20:12,083
I think the lesson here

353
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:14,377
is don't take any more shots.

354
00:20:15,795 --> 00:20:17,338
Come on. On the brighter side,

355
00:20:17,505 --> 00:20:19,632
we have some nice,
clean drinking water, right?

356
00:20:19,841 --> 00:20:23,178
Actually, I took the filter off.
The water started coming out black.

357
00:20:24,846 --> 00:20:28,683
I can't believe it.
I let Tim make such a fool of me.

358
00:20:29,559 --> 00:20:31,770
You know what?
I'm going over there.

359
00:20:31,936 --> 00:20:33,396
- Good, good. Go.
- Yeah.

360
00:20:33,605 --> 00:20:34,981
I got news for you. You know what?

361
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,830
I'm not gonna
just make him give my money.

362
00:20:37,025 --> 00:20:38,735
I'm gonna tell him,
those filters I lost

363
00:20:38,761 --> 00:20:40,303
are coming out of
his pyjama pocket.

364
00:20:40,487 --> 00:20:44,783
- Oh, baby, you're turning me on.
- Oh, I know I am, Pokιmon.

365
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:49,746
Well, then, get over there.
Get over there and hurry back.

366
00:20:49,954 --> 00:20:53,124
Yeah, I'll be back in five
minutes after I set him straight.

367
00:20:57,187 --> 00:20:58,563
Tim?

368
00:21:05,695 --> 00:21:07,322
Tim?

369
00:21:12,427 --> 00:21:14,971
And you know, this is when
your little one's bones are forming,

370
00:21:15,138 --> 00:21:18,307
so you wanna make sure your water
is as pure as possible.

371
00:21:18,474 --> 00:21:20,685
And I bet you have
a lot of little friends at school

372
00:21:20,852 --> 00:21:22,895
that want clean water, don't you?

373
00:21:23,104 --> 00:21:24,814
Don't you?

374
00:21:30,939 --> 00:21:36,939
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